Challenging myself

Hey there!

Recently, I’ve briefly talked about my difficulties finding something that interests me, as well as others.

A friend told me, that it doesn’t really matter what I talk about, as long as I like it. Okay we we’re talking about starting a youtube channel back then, but doing videos on youtube talking is awfully similar to having a blog, right? One uses pictures and sound to talk and bloggers mainly use words. I think while they’re still profoundly different, youtubers as well as writers often question themselves and are unsure what they should talking or writing about.

And that’s what I would like to try. But to make it more interesting, I came up with a challenge:

1. Writing about the things I like

2. Listen to a song which is between 3.30 and 6 minutes long – if I’m not past the first 3 sentences by then, which indicate the topic, save it as a draft and come back to it later, when the timing might be better and start with something new instead.

[I’ve been listening to One Night in Bangkok, which is 6.02 minutes long and that’s how far I came, so I’m continuing this post]

3. Don’t stress myself about the length. Quality over quantity!

4. Don’t spent more than 30 minutes per post, unless I can’t stop writing, because I have a lot to say – often I find myself sitting in front of the keyboard for 30 minutes without typing more than 3 words, maybe that’s the hint to either put an end to the post or postpone it.

5. Have fun, whatever happens!

 

So I’m trying to stick to these rules as long as I can. Some of them seem fundamental, but if I’m not writing them for me to read and re-read again and again, I think I’ll just forget them.

Which I don’t want, because right now I think it is really helpful to me and it feels right. So until these rules come naturally to me, I will follow them. Perhaps I’ll come up with even better ones in the future, but that’s not something I want to think about right now. I’m going down this road, step by step, word by word, bird by bird…

 

What are your rules when writing? Do you have any? How do you feel about them?

 

— Baylie

Almost back…again

So I got inactive again – which I didn’t do intentionally. It just came over me. The ever-pending question ‘What should I write about?’

I’ve spent the past ‘inactive’ weeks figuring things out and collect topics that interest me. So what I’ve wanted to say – there are some posts

which I began but which are still unfinished. I’ll work on that. In the meantime I also hope to get well again, because I’m currently sick, which

I absolutely hate, because I’m seldom sick. Anyway I’m looking forward on writing here again and also reading other interesting blogs.

If you have any recommendations, feel free to post them in the comments, I will appreciate it :)

 

Until then, I hope you lots are all well and creative!

— Baylie

Back again – finally!

Hello guys!

The past weeks I was very busy with finishing projects for university. Now the semester is finally over and I can enjoy my summer holidays! Which means I will write more and more frequently – I hope. To be honest I missed writing a lot. The whole time I was exhausted and I felt uncreative and empty inside. Although there was just a lot of stuff I needed to let out via writing. To get into writing after a long hiatus, I started a ’30 days of writing’ challenge, which is more like writing a diary. My writing needs a lot of improving and in order to improve I have to train it. So I start by writing daily, even if it’s just answering questions like ‘what did you do today?’. I think it doesn’t really matter what I write, as long as I write. I believe it’s a lot easier to develop if I make daily writing a habit. Probably I won’t make a post everyday for I want to write about specific things instead of just clearing my head (I have this little journal for that), but that’s okay for me. Today I’ll start with something that’s been on my mind for some time.
One of my project for university was to portrait a person without necessarily showing him/her. So we had to shoot some meaningful photographs with things that person loves. For exampe: You’re portraying your grandmother, who loves knitting and tea. In order to show her passions you would take pictures of wool, sweaters, tea pots or that nice comfy chair she always sits in.
I chose to portrait a fictional, stereotypical drama queen. Someone who brags about that pink limousine her father bought her, someone who goes hiking in high heels, spends an awful lot of money on keeping her so called status as queen bee.
Just to be clear: I don’t know someone like this and I don’t mind rich people. I just wanted to create someone most people wouldn’t like, because she’s just too shallow. That girl might as well be poor. A pink (rented) limousine just happened to park in front of my block, which gave me the idea for the whole concept.
Anyway I wondered if I could take this fictional character to a whole new level by creating a fake online identity. You know, someone doing selfies all the time, talking about fashion, nail polish and how much fun it is to be an ignorant teenager – a stereotype we all know too well. Since this idea haunted me for a long time, I think I’ll give it a shot. I might broaden my horizont and become more aware of what impact my actions have. You are all welcome to the freak show, as soon as I gathered enough material to make this happen. At the moment I’m not sure, whether I’ll create a second blog, a twitter or a tublr account. No youtube, since videos would need too much preparation and my room isn’t exact the home of some rich chick.

Ah I’m so excited!

See you soon
–Baylie

O Friend, where art thou?

Where is my friend when I need you most?

Gone away.

– Ordinary World by Duran Duran

 

Friend: Do you know what? I’m in love with this guy […]

Me: Oh that’s great!

What I’m really thinking: Oh s/he deserves this so much! | Oh no, say goodbye to your friend for a while.

 

Why exactly do I have these thoughts?

One of my friends being in love often means for me, that they’ll spent every waking hour talking about their love interest.
Or when they’re finally a couple they stick together all the time. All of the time.
While I can totally understand this, for I have been in love myself, I don’t understand why having a boy- or girlfriend means that
you just abandon your old friends? I wonder whether it’s just my experience or if other single friends know it as well. Whenever my best friend is in a relationship she practically has no time for me at all. And if she finds the time, she either talks about her lover or she invites me to join her with her lover.
Sounds quite nice, right? Yeah. I’m always a fifth wheel, because she and her girl/boyfriend will always do anything else but making out or talk about how much they love each other OR if I’m lucky, I get a little small talk. So I’d rather not meet my friend the first weeks of her new relationship. Because for me it means spending a whole afternoon watching my friend enjoying herself, while I’m bored to death.

Have I done anything to prevent this?

Well. Not really. I told her that I always feel like I don’t belong there,  but that I’m still happy for her. My friend feels sorry, but she can’t really help herself. She is a lover of the extreme. It’s either pure obsession or pure disinterest. There is nothing in between.
It is probably also my fault. I’m not good at talking about my true feelings. Writing – yes. Conversation – no. In her eyes I’m the most strongest person she knows (emotionally). I don’t cry in public, I don’t let sadness take over me, I don’t let the bad things influence the way I interact with my surroundings. I keep anything negative to myself. Locked away.
Telling her that I feel neglected when she’s in a relationship just seems so strange. I’m scared that she feels bad for me or something.I also don’t know HOW much it really bothers me. Because in the long-run we will both be happy once the ‘making out’ weeks have passed and she can bear being away from her boy/girlfriend. I guess the selfish-me wants all the attention, although logical-me knows that being neglected is just a temporary state. It’s not like I have some serious issues anyway.

I’m always okay. I’m the Queen of okay.

(And I know that I’m actually lying to myself.)

That’s it for now.

— Baylie

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

First things first.

Welcome friends :)

This is not my first blog. In fact I’ve had several blogs for YEARS. Yes, really. I started occasional blogging (= keeping a blog for 3-6 months) when I was about 13 years old and discovered that whatever my parents don’t know, won’t upset them. I was a little rebel when it came to the Internet. At least I was smart enough to never, never ever use my full name or to share any of my contact information. Thanks Mum and Dad for teaching me that!

Anyway so here it is…blog number ‘I can’t remember’ may your life be long and full of interesting stuff!

 

Have fun and see you soon

— Baylie