Challenging myself

Hey there!

Recently, I’ve briefly talked about my difficulties finding something that interests me, as well as others.

A friend told me, that it doesn’t really matter what I talk about, as long as I like it. Okay we we’re talking about starting a youtube channel back then, but doing videos on youtube talking is awfully similar to having a blog, right? One uses pictures and sound to talk and bloggers mainly use words. I think while they’re still profoundly different, youtubers as well as writers often question themselves and are unsure what they should talking or writing about.

And that’s what I would like to try. But to make it more interesting, I came up with a challenge:

1. Writing about the things I like

2. Listen to a song which is between 3.30 and 6 minutes long – if I’m not past the first 3 sentences by then, which indicate the topic, save it as a draft and come back to it later, when the timing might be better and start with something new instead.

[I’ve been listening to One Night in Bangkok, which is 6.02 minutes long and that’s how far I came, so I’m continuing this post]

3. Don’t stress myself about the length. Quality over quantity!

4. Don’t spent more than 30 minutes per post, unless I can’t stop writing, because I have a lot to say – often I find myself sitting in front of the keyboard for 30 minutes without typing more than 3 words, maybe that’s the hint to either put an end to the post or postpone it.

5. Have fun, whatever happens!


So I’m trying to stick to these rules as long as I can. Some of them seem fundamental, but if I’m not writing them for me to read and re-read again and again, I think I’ll just forget them.

Which I don’t want, because right now I think it is really helpful to me and it feels right. So until these rules come naturally to me, I will follow them. Perhaps I’ll come up with even better ones in the future, but that’s not something I want to think about right now. I’m going down this road, step by step, word by word, bird by bird…


What are your rules when writing? Do you have any? How do you feel about them?


— Baylie



I bet you all know this feeling:

Did they just laugh at me?

Was this guy over there muttering anything mean under his breath?

That old couple over there totally think that my skirt is too short.

Do I look like a jellyfish in this thing?

You get the idea.

I – as a self-proclaimed strong personality – always tried to hide my insecurities.
By acting like I didn’t care or like I did things on purpose or hiding behind clothes.
Right – the lovely clothes.

Until today I didn’t like to show my legs, because of big scars and bruises (I am also a very clumsy person bumping into everything and anything) and many other ridiculous reasons.
Perhaps it was my subconscious, infected with unhealthy body images, that held me back all these years. So basically the lower part of my body practically never saw the bright, lovely sunlight – except for swimming. Anyway. So today I was wearing thighs along with boots and a dress. But unfortunately the tights were about 5cm too short
(I was too lazy to look for another pair – ahem) and after a few 100m they slipped little by little. Of course there was nowhere where I could hide and fix my little problem.
So what did I do? Right. Walking rather stiffly in order to prevent them from slipping any further. A clothing store was my rescue. Because I didn’t know any way out of this,
I just stuffed my tights in my messenger bag and went without them –
bare legs for the first time in forever! And damn it felt SO good!

Why did I tell you all this? Because some insecurities are simply rubbish!
Why restraining yourself just because others may not like it?

It’s your life, your body, your choice.

Haters gonna hate anyway no matter what you do. It’s impossible to please everybody so you might as well stop trying. Try to please yourself instead. I was very happy when I was back home and I wondered why it took me so long to realize that really nobody cares about my scars or bruises. And to be honest: I guess you couldn’t see them anyway because of my combat boots. But even if you could – I’m not a (photoshopped) model and I never wanted to be one – and I probably never will. But that’s is alright with me – having flaws is much more fun and interesting than being flawless – right?

Have fun embracing your flaws – I’m off being all awkward and clumsy ;)

Writing and RPGs

Whoah I feel kind of bad that I didn’t post here in a long time. Although I almost always feel the need to write, type or post – I seldom find any topics I could write about. To satisfy my ‘writing needs’ I participate in RPGs on Animexx. I love the idea of creating a story, characters and situations with other people. It’s fascinating how characters you created fastly develop depth and almost act on their own. After a while you just know how they’d react and you would never ever write something which wouldn’t suit them. I bet it’s also quite useful when you’re writing a book and have some trouble with creating believable and ‘true’ characters. I mean true as in ‘you don’t need to think about how they would react because their reaction comes naturally to you, because you’re in character’. Does it make any sense? I hope so! Well this puts writing a novel to a whole new level. At least for me. Because I never thought about ways to write a longer story. To me it was: sitting down, writing stuff to warm up, write, write, write, sleep, edit, write again etc.

Playing in a RPG might spice some things up! But first you need a buddy to play with. This means that there are two people shaping a common story. In the end there will be two authors – unless one of the players says ‘okay this is your story. I take no claim.’.

So things could get complicated once your story is finished. Well…unless you don’t want to have a co-author I suggest to write in RPGs which have nothing to do with the story you’re about to write. BUT… use one (or more) of your planned book characters. This way you have all the fun and advantages because you shape your character, make him/her more relatable without having to share your planned story with anyone else.

Whoah. I might just try that one out. Although I’m rather a ‘poem’ person, meaning I’ve never written any novel-worthy stuff. But there always has to be a first time, right?

Happy writing :D